It's ok not to be ok

I feel like issues with mental health aren't talked about the way they should be. There seems to be some sort of stigma attached to having problems with your mental health, and I think it's ridiculous. 

I've always suffered with depression and anxiety but it something in which I didn't want people to know and it was very much something I kept to myself and didn't even discuss with those close to me, those who I know would help me through anything. I think the reason I did this was because I was so embarrassed about, but it is not something I can help and it was only in these last maybe 4 months that I have tried to embrace it, i've finally admitted after years of trying to hide it and pretend that there isn't anything wrong, that yes, I do have a mental illness and do you know what? That's OK.

I honestly think I've suffered with depression and anxiety for maybe 5 or 6 years or even more, I hid it from my friends, If they ever asked me what was wrong I just used to say I'm tired or I'm just in a bad mood. 

But now I think it is time for people, who like myself, think there is an issue with having any sort of problem with their mental health, that it really isn't something to be embarrassed about. 

I think the reason I finally think it's ok to accept it is because I wanted to change my life, I didn't want to keep feeling miserable most days and I wanted to enjoy life, although the last 6 months haven't been at all good for me (which I will do another post about) I finally thought it was time to take charge of my life and make myself feel better.

Although i've always had issues with mental health, but i've always seemed to manage daily life, it wasn't until unfortunately my parents split up at the end of August that it all got a little too much, it was something that I did not see coming, and something which I never thought would affect me the way it did, but let's save that for another blog post.

I then decided that things needed to change, I didn't want to go out, I didn't want to see anyone or do anything, which really isn't me, I'm someone who loves being busy and I just knew things had to change.

I've been having CBT to change the thought processes in my head, and it's really helped, if only I knew it was easily 'fixed'. 


Although I know I will always have issues with my mental health, and it will never be something that fully goes away, i've just got to learn to embrace it, it is part of me, and i'm finally ok with that.

I suppose i wrote this post to help other people who suffer issues with their mental health, and to let them know they are not alone, because even though I had friends and family around me, I don't think i'd ever felt so alone.





x

4 things to tell yourself when things are hard...

There is always going to be times in your life when things are hard, it can be a range of different things, it could be your struggling for work, you could be struggling with your mental health, you generally might just be having a tough time, but these things happen in everyones lives at one point or another and I think it's important to tell yourself that it is ok.

Tough times come and go, but I feel like there is some things that you should remind yourself of because it's so easy to get sidetracked by the bad things surrounding you rather than the positive things that surround you.

1.Your not alone - Your not going to be the only person in the world going through a hard time, just surround yourself with positive people and close friends and they will help you through it.

2. You only have to ask  - There are a few people in my life that I know 100% I can call on whenever I need them. The close people around you will always be there for you, so, even if it's just to go around to have a cup of tea, they will be always be there for you.

3. It is ok to cry - Now this is one in which I must take into consideration, I don't know why but I always find if I'm upset about something and I cry it makes me seem weak or that I can't handle things. This is not true, sometimes all it takes is for you to have cry and a glass of wine with the girls to make you feel better about a situation or to put you in a bettie frame of mind.

4. Things will soon get better - Most of the time the situation you are in is only for a short period of time, most things in life are easily changed, nothing in life is permanent, if you are unhappy about something or something is getting you down, be it, your mental state, a job or a relationship, change it. Change is something in which everyone should welcome with open arms.




I've wanted to write a post like this for a while, it's something which right over the past few months would have helped me.


Is there anything you tell yourself when things are hard? Leave a comment below :)



H x

Plus size thoughts?!

For as long as I can remember (forever) i've always been bigger, i've never been one of these girls who can fit into size 10 jeans, and thats something that i've always struggled with.

I've always wanted to be slimmer, skinner but in the last year i've learnt that being plus size isn't so much of a bad thing, i've learnt that it is ok to be different to other people, to not follow the 'norm' as so to speak. 

I think the thing that has helped is the rise of plus size bloggers and youtubers, along with stores now making clothes which actually suit the size of a plus size body type rather than just making clothes in a bigger size, it also helps that i've got a great group of friends which couldn't care less what size I am, just that I am super happy in myself and in everything that I do.

Although there are now more plus size models in the media, I still feel like it is not enough, even when you go online to buy clothes, you click on the plus size link and the models wearing the clothes are not plus size, they are a size 14/16 at the most, clothes on them do not look the same as they would on someone who is a real plus size, a size 20,22 or even bigger. Although the 'plus size' models are now in the fashion world, they are not in proportion to the real plus size women all over the world, although yes they are a little bigger than the standard model they still do not represent us.

I've heard talks of getting rid of the 'plus' label and for me, I don't think we should, shopping plus size is a way that I can actually get clothes that will suit my body and my size, although it really annoys me that the people on the websites do not portray plus size in the realistic light, its nice that when I order clothes, or see plus size bloggers write posts about clothing I know I could order and it will fit or actually make me feel good.

Although this post is a bit of a ramble, it is something that lately has really got me thinking, I don't think there is enough plus size women in the limelight, something which I hope over time will change.


What are your thoughts on the plus size label?
Let me know in the comments,



x

My University Experience!

I have just finished my final year at university and I can't believe its all over, but I have really enjoyed it and thought I would share my experience and a few things that I have learnt that helped me along the way.

I'll start right back at the beginning, the A-Levels I did were, Psychology, Sociology, Law and History as just an AS subject. So while I was thinking about applying to uni I knew that I wanted to do either Psychology, Sociology and Law. Although Law is the subject that I got the highest grade in, there wasn't really much in it and so I chose my university subject based on what I thought I would enjoy the most and based on what sort of work I wanted to go into once I finally finished my degree. In the end I chose a BSc in Psychology with Sociology, with the University of East Anglia and City College Norwich.

The one thing I found while applying for university while I was at college was that I feel people get too hung up on University League Tables, Unless you are going to be a high flyer  in a top Law firm or within your field, I don't think it really matters, just go for a university that you like and in a city you like because although 3 years goes fast you've still got to live there while your attending that university. 

I chose UEA with City College Norwich because I didn't want to move away for uni, I also wanted to attend uni but come out with as little debt as possible, I know for some people this isn't a big factor, and its not a major factor for me, it's just something I decided and my tuition fees were only £6000 a year compared to the average of around £8500-£9000. Norwich is also a lovely city, and a place that I know and am comfortable in with it being my nearest city.


Now for the actual university experience..

I was lucky with my degree that it was only 2 full days a week for first and second year, and then one day for third year, although I only attended for those days, I still had a huge amount of work to do on other days, because my course was consolidated into 2 days it meant that I could work alongside my degree, for first and second year I worked full time along side it, but for third year I only worked part time because the workload was too much to work full time swell. It is true when people say third year really is a step up from first and second year, the modules are a lot harder, and the dissertation, which is fine once you get going, its just the getting going which is the hard part.

Because my degree was with City College Norwich and UEA my campus was in the city centre, which is a lot closer to home for me and parking wasn't really a problem either because there is a car park just down the road.

All people deal with assignments in different ways, some people like to be well organised and do an assignment over a week or so, others like to do it in a day or even the night before a deadline, i'm more of the latter, and other people on my course always said 'oh I don't know how you do that' but for me it's just the way I work, I always got good result marks and so for me it worked. Don't ever let people stress you out with the way you work, if it works for you then it works.

Your dissertation is a big part of final year, but try not to get too hung up for it, pick a subject you are super interested in, because trust me you will get bored otherwise, before you pick your topic, make sure that there is a lot of contemporary research on it, otherwise you will struggle to actually write it! The further tip of a dissertation is just start writing, you can always get rid of it later, but if you spend days trying to figure out how to start it then it is a waste of time, I did this, and it wasted so much of my time which could have been used finding relevant research. Also, a final tip of a dissertation which I found so useful, is to try and split it into mini essays, that way you only have to deal with a little bit at a time and you won't get stressed out about the word count.


Overall, I love my university experience, I don't regret the university I chose, I ended up with a 2:1 BSc in Psychology with Sociology (Hons)!


Is there any tips you have about university, or anything to share about your experience?


H x

The hair colouring number system

I always used to hate choosing a hair colour in a drug store, there was so many different makes, so many different colour numbers printed on the box, I never knew what the different was, and just used to pick one and hope for the best.

Fast forward a few years and I now understand, after asking my hair dresser what the different numbers symbolise..

First, the numbers range from 1 to 10, for example, 5

The first number (the 5) stands for the death of the colour you want,
The general rule is the higher the number the lighter the colour.

Number 10 - Very light blonde

Number 9 - Light blonde

Number 8 - Blonde

Number 7 - Dark blonde

Number 6 - Light brown

Number 5 - Brown

Number 4 - Dark brown

Number 3 - Darkest brown

Number 2 - Black brown

Number 1 - Black



I usually find that it helps to go one shade  lighter than you would like your hair, they usually come out a little darker than you anticipated in the first place.

I generally change my hair colour very often, I get bored so easily. I think the longest hair colour I have stayed is red, I felt it always looked so nice in my hair, I experimented a lot with different hair colours, but the best one I found for me was Vidal Sassoon - Dark intense red. I've just changed my hair back to brown, but I'm not loving the colour i've got on at the moment, so i'm sure I will change it in the next couple of weeks.


What are the best hair colourants you have tried?


x

Christmas Eve Boxes

I know it's only just November but I am one of those people who gets super excited about Christmas as soon as Halloween is over, This year there is a few more children in the family than the last couple of years and I want to make their Christmas a little more magical this year.

I've always loved christmas, my family have always gone all out, year after year, however, i've only just come across the idea of a Christmas Eve Box.

Firstly, the box itself, I've seen so many different ways to do this, I mean you can buy them but I think it makes it extra special if you make them yourself. Simply use a shoe box or a box big enough, either wrap it in Christmas paper or, what i'm going to do is wrap it in brown paper, and use paint to decorate the box and write the child's name on the box.

What to put in the box?

You can put anything you want into the box, it's a great idea because it can be made very individual and can differ from child to child, But i'm going to put in:

Pyjamas - The first must have for a snuggly christmas eve. Its a tradition in our family that we all buy the most Christmassy PJ's we can find and save them for Christmas Eve.

Christmas Activity Book - Something just to make sure that the children are 100% in the Christmas spirit (Also something to keep them entertained while your running around making sure everything is all set for the next day!)

A Christmas Book - The last thing they will do on Christmas eve is read a Christmas tale with you, something every child will love.

Reindeer Dust - Simple to make, Just add oats and glitter and wrap in a bag with ribbon. The oats will then sparkle and santa will see the way to your door.

A Christmas Film - You can't not what a Christmas film on Christmas eve, I always watch The Grinch and then Elf, Have done for years and think I always will do.

Cookies/Sweets - Perfect to eat while reading a book or watching a christmas film.

Santa's Magical Key - Let the child leave it out near mince pies, and a carrot for Rudolf. How else is santa going to get in and leave presents for the children?

Just a few idea's to make Christmas eve extra special for children, Are there any traditions/ things you do on Christmas eve? Let me know in the comments.

Thanks for reading

x

Top Beauty Staples #1

           

I know, I know, I said I was going to blog more, and it's been about a month! This last month has flown by, I've just not had a lot of spare time, but i'm trying to manage my time better so hopefully more blog posts will be coming your way!

Anyway.. we seem to have strayed away from the topic of choice today, which is my top beauty products at the moment. There's quite a few, so this might be a bit of a long post, but because I haven't posted in a while it's not that bad (I hope).

The first product, is the Christian Dior Star Foundation - it's described as a brightening, weightless foundation, and that's just what it is!! I love this product, is so wearable, its a light to medium coverage, which is really buildable if you want something more full for evening wear. The colour selection is really good aswell, I believe there is 19 shades to choose from, it was a little pricey, it was £32.50 but I really think it is worth it. 

Secondly, the Wow skin Primer, By Seventeen - Now this is a 3 in 1 product, and I enjoy products which can be used in many different ways. It can be used as a highlighter, an illuminator with foundation and a primer. It's a really pigmented product and a little certainly goes along way, it has the most gorgeous pearly pink shade which just looks so lovely on the skin. I think this is now my third bottle and I would re-perchase it over and over again, and for £5.99 you can't really go wrong.

The Mary-Lou Manzier By The Balm - Now I don't know where to start with this product, it is my Holy Grail, it's my everything (a little extreme I know), no but seriously, I don't think I could be without this now. I use it as a highlighter and an eyeshadow. It leaves the most beautiful gold shimmer anywhere you place it on your face. I honestly think it's the best highlighter i've ever used and I don't know if there is something that will ever replace it. Its £17.50 but I really do think it's worth every penny.

I'm really into eye makeup at the moment, and trying out all different eye primers and eyeshadows, this was when I came across my next product, The Maybelline Color Tattoo - This stuff is just to die for, I think I have about 5 different colours and I want them all. It's great to create part of a dramatic eye look, or just on it's own over the lid, I think they retail for around the £5 mark, which is super cheap.

I majorly love bold lip colours, I've lost count how many different shades of red I have, but my absolute favourite is the Rimmel 107 Lipstick By Kate Moss - This is prefect for this time of year, it just adds so much to a make up look, and it's lasting power is pretty good too. It's £5.50 which I think for a lipstick is so affordable, I rarely re-perchace lipsticks because there is always so many I want to try, But this has been in my make up bag since I can ever remember and as soon as I run out I buy another straight away.

The Benefit Brow Zings - Now for an eye brow product this is a little pricey, It's £24.50..But it's so worth it. They seem to last forever, i've had mine for ages now, to the part where i'm thinking of chucking it and re-perchasing another one. I simply love it, it just gives your brows something extra. Defiantly worth a purchase. 

The Seventeen Nail Polishes - Now I have really short nails, I can never let them grow, But I love long nails, so I use glue on nails, perfect! The Seventeen nail polishes are so cheap and they last on the nails, I especially love the quick dry ones, but the Gel ones are also pretty difficult to beat!

Much to my hate, make up can't be worn forever, we eventually get to the end of the way where we have to take it off, and I have found two products which are really quick and easy to use and take off every single bit of make up. The first is the Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser - I simply love this and don't know if I will ever use anything else to take my face off with. The second product is the L'Oreal Gentle Eye Make Up Remover - this stuff takes away the majority of my eye make up in one swipe and i always wear liquid liner, heaps of mascara and plenty of eye shadow, Both these products are so in expensive but do the nest job at taking off make up. I'm not one that wants to spend ages taking my make up off, I like it to be a quick process.

Have you tried any of these products? Or have any of your own which you swear by? Let me know in the comments!

Thanks for reading,

Hayley x